That, my friends is a picture of Wayne Rooney. He paid to have sex with a hooker, who incidentally is also a grandmother, nicknamed “Auld Slapper”.
Here is a man who could have his pick of the most beautiful women in the world, and he pays for a night with a hooker nicknamed Auld Slapper.
I’m not a big fan of soccer but if this is the sort of athlete that the sport produces, I just might become one!
He didn’t have a picture, not even a description, but all the ladies loved “The Cowboy Gentleman”.
He rode into the chat room with a “Howdy Y’all” and the ladies all “Howdy’d” right back.
“I’m on layover from a business trip with no tour guide” he typed.
“Well now Cowboy, we can’t have that can we” typed one woman.
“Hang on there girl, I was here first” replied another.
“I’m free tonight and not far away” typed a third eager lady. “I even know a bar that plays Country in case you’re homesick” she continued.
In the blink of an eye two avatars left the chat room; the Cowboy gentleman and the western music loving lady.
Everybody loves a cowboy.
Labiaplasty…
Good Lord, the shit people think up. It should be a crime.
Seriously, people pay to pretty up their pussy.
Ladies, let’s take a step back for a moment shall we? Unless it’s seriously deformed or it’s oozing something frightening, if I’ve got you to the point where I’m looking at your pussy, I’m going to do what I came to do.
It’s just that simple.
Remember the cunnilingus aficionado motto: More than a mouthful is Mmmm-mmm good!
Found this fun little animation on tnaboard. It’s spot on…
Click the image to see a larger version
No, that isn’t me in the picture. I’m much more squirrelly.
I am a sex Viking. It’s true.
I have Viking blood coursing through my giant purple vein.
There are times when I’d follow my penis across the vast expanses of the oceans in an open boat searching for lands unknown, just for the whiff of a fresh new port of call.
If you’re reading this from one of the hooker boards, you know exactly what I mean.
Especially you of the mighty street monger clan, who navigate the seas of pavement night after night and day after day in search of the ultimate streetwalker experience, the last hurrah before hanging up your keys, only to find the wanderlust returns, night after night, day after day.
In the pursuit of ever greater sexual glory, the risks are high and the rewards fleeting my Viking brothers. Your tales of conquest may not be loudly proclaimed in the glow of the campfire, but they will be told, whispered under the cover of darkness.
They are cautionary tales for those who would choose the same path and sail the same empty seas.
Can you guess the celebrated author who wrote the following love letter to his future wife?
You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole.
It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know Nora’s fart anywhere. I think I could pick hers out in a roomful of farting women.
It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope Nora will let off no end of her farts in my face so that I may know their smell also…
Author: James Joyce
Man up Nancy boy, there are times when failure isn’t an option.
What do you do when her pink canoe smells more like the poop deck?
1. Jolly Ranchers
2. Clothespins
3. ???
Please add your suggestions in the comments or on this thread at Encounterboard.
A tip old bean… A stinky pinky means a toxic box.
